Bumpers: Disney Afternoon

I guess I'll file this as a bumper...

Back before Disney became the evil conglomerate that it is today, they provided kids with quality shows that didn't involve the caterwauling of nasal-voiced teenagers. The Disney Afternoon was a staple in the TV viewing habits of kids born in the 80s.

My Disney Afternoon programs of choice included The Gummi Bears, Duck Tales, Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers, Tale Spin, Goof Troop, and once in awhile, Darkwing Duck. I tried to give Bonkers a chance, but that show was absolutely abysmal. The made more than one dig at it on Animaniacs for a good reason. Plus, unlike its predecessors, it didn't have an awesome theme song. Soon after, I abandoned The Disney Afternoon, due to the line-up changes and my impending puberty.

Here's the first intro, featuring characters from the original four (The Gummi Bears, Duck Tales, Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers and Tale Spin), plus Darkwing Duck, whose show was in the works at the time:



Here's another version, with the addition of characters from Darkwing Duck, Goofy, Max, and (ugh) Bonkers:



There was apparently a soundtrack that was sold in stores (I'm going to have to scavenge the local used record stores now). Here's the full version of the Disney Afternoon theme. You gotta love the jazzy flute solo:

Commercial: Baby Shivers

When I was a kid, I absolutely hated baby dolls for some reason. I used to wonder if this had anything to do with the jealousy I experienced upon the arrival of my little brother when I was three and a half, but there's a picture of me on Christmas morning opening a baby doll with a horrified expression on my face, and I was still an only child at that point (my mom was actually about three months pregnant when that picture was taken, but my jealousy didn't surface until my brother arrived home from the hospital). I like real babies, so I guess my aversion to baby dolls will remain an enigma.

Needless to say, I absolutely despised the Baby Shivers commercial. Even at eight years old, the jingle made me want to puke. The doll also creeped me out, and it wasn't only because it looked like this:



The idea of a shivering doll was just unsettling to me back then. It actually still is, when I think about babies that shiver uncontrollably in real life. Baby Shivers? More like Baby Crack Withdrawal.

As if this doll wasn't creepy enough, you apparently had to remove its head in order to replace the batteries.

Hee! There's an indie band named Baby Shivers Boutique. Awesome.

Here's the only Baby Shivers commercial I was able to find. It's part of a compilation of commercials the uploader posted, so to get straight to Baby Shivers, click here.

Saved by the Bell: Jessie's So Excited

Everybody who watched Saved by the Bell lists this among their highlight reel:

"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so... scared!"

If Jessie gets like this after a few over-the-counter caffeine pills, I'd hate to see what cocaine or meth would do to her.

Jessie's freak out is just as hilarious now as it was circa 1991. Somebody else obviously thought so too, hence this awesome video:

Commercials: Circuit City

In honor of the demise of Circuit City, here are a couple of their commercials from the early 90s, featuring that catchy jingle.

There are two commercials in this video. The first one is probably the most famous one (and up until now I had completely forgotten about it). It features a kid getting the difference back from the hideous yellow Walkman he bought after seeing an ad in the paper that advertised it for less than what he paid for. Nice effort Circuit City, but this ploy must not have provided enough sustenance to help you survive a recession.

The second commercial is simply an extended version of the jingle.

Tiny Toons Meets Ninja Turtles

Don't let this post's title mislead you. This isn't some obscure cartoon crossover special. This is a hilarious and accurate parody of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as seen on Tiny Toon Adventures. Don't you just love it when early 90s phenomena collide?

The whole segment isn't available on Youtube, but here's the theme song, which is definitely the funniest part of the episode. Sit back, relax, and enjoy "Immature Radioactive Samurai Slugs".

Fruity Pebbles Christmas Commercial

For my second cereal-related Christmas commercials post, here's an old standby that aired for several years. I'm pretty sure I was still seeing it on TV when I was well into my teens. Yes, I'm referring to the Fruity Pebbles holiday commercial.

Barney must be even more desperate for Fruity Pebbles than that rabbit is for Trix (I don't understand why. In my opinion, Cocoa Pebbles is the superior cereal of the Pebbles variety). The guy was willing to go out in the snow with no pants or shoes on, for God's sake.

Commercials: Trix, Christmas Style

Here's a Trix commercial from the early 90s that I'm pretty sure continued to air for a few years after that. Back then there were only five flavors (I think that lime was a fairly recent addition when this commercial aired) and they were all just round, instead of fruit-shaped (interesting factoid: Trix is short for "Tropical Kix").

That damn rabbit couldn't even catch a break on Christmas. Hell, even Fred Flintstone was willing to share his Fruity Pebbles during the holidays.

That blonde girl in the commercial looks like she stepped off the set of The Bloodening Village of the Damned.

Commercial: Milton Bradley Travel Games

I remember when this commercial first aired in the early 90s. It features Santa trying to get his reindeer to pass him some travel-sized games to put in the stockings, only they're too busy enjoying the gifts themselves to pay him any mind.

Maybe it's just me, but even travel-sized games seemed a little extravagant for stocking stuffers (at least the brand-name ones, like Milton Bradley). Then again, my stocking stuffers were always dollar store fare. In my family, our stockings were mostly filled with candy, those candy cane shaped pens that barely wrote, and once in awhile a box of crayons and a coloring book. The real presents were under the tree.

7 UP Holiday Commercials

Remember Spot? The former mascot of 7UP? Sometime in the late 80s, that little red ball on the logo was anthropomorphized and his popularity exploded. He even had a few of his own video games (then again, what anthropomorphized character DIDN'T have its own video game during that era?).

I'm not sure why 7UP dropped the Spot campaign. Then again, this is what they had to say in the FAQs section of their official website (by the way, 7UP is both Kosher and gluten-free, in case you were wondering):

Q: Are you targeting 7UP to adults or children?

A: 7UP is targeted to adults 25-49 who want a great tasting carbonated soft drink without artificial flavors are preservatives.

Hmm, does this mean that I've only been old enough to drink 7UP for less than 2 months?

Spot was featured in many commercials, but the Christmas-themed ones are the most memorable. This one from the late 80s is beyond cute. The music is pretty good too:



Here's one from the early 90s, featuring the now defunct slogan "The Uncola". Not as whimsical as the other one, but cute nonetheless:

McDonald's Ice Skating Holiday Commercial

Throughout the 80s and early 90s, McDonalds would always air this commercial around Christmas. It featured Ronald McDonald ice skating, while animated forest creatures looked on. He engages in a game of "Crack the Whip" with a bunch of kids - save for the smallest of them all who is left behind. Kid looks sad, Ronald notices, picks him up and spins him around, and the other kids finally acknowledge his existence. Hey, Ronald noticed him, so he must be worthy of their attention, right?

Here's the commercial. Animation and music-wise, this ad was pretty high-quality.



Later on, they replaced the audio track in the commercial. I think I might actually like this music better:

Commercial: Lifecall (Life Alert)

If you don't remember Lifecall (now called Life Alert), chances are you will after you read this next sentence:

"I've fallen and I can't get up!"

It's unfortunate that a commercial that addresses a serious problem among the elderly is so unintentionally hilarious. I'm sure Lifecall didn't intend for this ad to become one of the biggest punchlines of the 90s. Oh well, at least it put them on the map. Mrs. Fletcher will live on forever!

Here's a remarkably high-quality version of the commercial in all its glory:

For additional hilarity, here's the REMIX!:

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

This entry is different from the usual, because I didn't actually watch this when it aired. However, this show is from the early 90s, so it's not exactly off-topic. I discovered the awesomeness of The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog through my younger brothers, who watched the reruns on USA during the later half of the 90s, after new episodes were no longer being produced.

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was yet another cartoon series based on a popular video game. I've always had a soft spot for the old school Sonic games, so I don't know why I originally missed this.

This show was a low-budget crapfest... and that's what made it so great. It was oozing with campiness. Examples:

The animation was mediocre at best. Also, the colorist should have been fired.

The storylines were extremely slapstick and beyond corny.

This show gave the New Kids on the Block cartoon serious competition for the Worst Sound Effects in Animation Award.

Catch-phrase after catch-phrase ("Let's speed, keed!", "Gotta blow, Joe!")

The music was absolutely horrid, especially the cheesy rendition of In the Hall of the Mountain King that was sprinkled throughout the soundtrack.

Sonic was voiced by Mr. Steven Q. Urkel.

What late 80s/early 90s show would be complete without a PSA at the end ("Sonic Sez Says")?

Interestingly, another Sonic cartoon aired on ABC at the same time. I got the series on DVD for my brother last Christmas, and I have to say, it was a damn good show, animation, plot, and music-wise. Unlike The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, this one obviously had a budget of more than 60 dollars.

Here's one of the cheesier episodes that I remember. I friggin' love Scratch.

Here's the opening, which was cut out of the video I posted:



Finally, heres a bonus "Sonic Sez". Sonic says that sexual harassment is NO GOOD. I love how they use that cheesy version of In the Hall of the Mountain King in the background. At least they didn't show Robotnik chasing Tails while Sonic was talking.

Commercials: Happy Meals - Halloween Edition

Today marks my last entry as a 24-year old. Tomorrow's the big 2-5!

This is my second Happy Meal entry, with a Halloween theme in honor of the season. As in the last post, I'm writing about the toys I actually owned as a child.

This first commercial features the late, great McNuggets, all dressed up for Halloween and making horrible "mummy/mommy" puns. The toys featured in that year's (1989) Happy Meal were the McDonalds Zoo Face disguises. These "disguises" consisted of an animal snout and face paint. I had the toucan's beak. The elastic hurt my face, but I really liked how the inside of the beak smelled. Either my memory is fuzzy or I got gypped, because I certainly don't remember getting any face paint.



This next one features the Halloween Happy Meal Pails (and the now MIA Birdie, Grimace, and Hamburglar). I had the pumpkin, but I stuck to my pillowcase for trick or treating. Those buckets couldn't hold crap.

Bumper: Nickelodeon - What Time Is It?

If you thought that "Wacky Wild Kool-Aid Style" commercial I blogged about was a trip, you ain't seen nothing yet. This Nickelodeon bumper from 1990 is an amalgamation of various animated bumpers (yes, there are actually bumpers WITHIN bumpers in this one) and clips from Nick shows. It's a chaotic mess... and I love it. It definitely embodies the awesomeness that was once Nickelodeon.

Muppet Babies

Insomnia sucks. I can't believe I'm blogging about Muppet Babies at six in the morning.

Muppet Babies kicked off the "babyification" craze of popular cartoon characters that was so prevalent in the 80s and early 90s. Just think, if this show never existed, we never would have seen such gems as A Pup Named Scooby Doo, The Flintstone Kids, Tom and Jerry Kids, and Yo Yogi! (I don't group Tiny Toon Adventures with these shows, because it featured a completely different group of characters instead of the originals as kids, plus, Tiny Toons was actually a good show, unlike the four mentioned above). While most of these "babyfied" shows are pretty forgettable, Muppet Babies obviously did something right, because it ran from 1984 to 1990 (plus, several characters made cameos in Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue).

From a grown-up point of view, Muppet Babies isn't half bad. It lacks the more adult humor of Animaniacs or Tiny Toons and doesn't deliver quite as many laughs (and the voices are MUCH more grating), but there are still a number of references and parodies that adults will find amusing.

There is one thing that bugs me about the show as an adult: the addition of Skeeter, Scooter's twin sister. Skeeter was never an original Muppet, but the writers obviously wanted another female character. I HATE it when shows add token female characters (I'm looking at you, Smurfette). It's not like Miss Piggy was the only original female Muppet. Couldn't they have just used Janice or Camilla (who actually appeared as Gonzo's stuffed toy)? And if they insisted on creating a token female, they could have at least made her less annoying. Skeeter sucked.

I was well aware that June Cleaver moonlighted as the Muppet Babies' nanny. However, I didn't know that Mr. Deal or No Deal himself provided a few voices (although now that I think about it, Skeeter sounded exactly like Bobby Generic).

Today's post features the very first episode, in which a member of the popo moves in next door to the Muppet Babies (I included an extra clip of the theme song, since it was cut out of the video I posted). If this particular one doesn't tickle your fancy, there are many more on Youtube.

Commercials: Kool-Aid

Tonight's episode of Family Guy inspired this entry.

Kool-Aid has a looong history of advertising campaigns, some more memorable than others. As usual, I'll be focusing on the ads from the late 80s and early 90s. If you're looking for the more classic commercials, you're at the wrong place. I'm one month and three weeks shy of my 25th birthday, those were before my time.

One of the ad campaigns from my childhood was "Wild and Wacky". The following commercial is a trip. It looks like a film student's first project. It embodies the cheese of the late 80s and early 90s. Kool-Aid Man busts through the wall in a pair of pink leopard print pants and a blond wig that resembles fiberglass insulation.



Here's a low-quality commercial of my absolute favorite flavor ever: Sharkleberry Fin. Fintastic!

The Joy of Painting

During my pre-school years, I stayed glued to PBS from the time I woke up in the morning until the 5:00 PM (CST) airing of Sesame Street ended and gave way to MacNeil/Lehrer. I did give the TV a rest between the 11:00 AM and 2:00PM airings of Sesame Street, because during those hours, PBS aired boring "grown-up shows", such as Sewing With Nancy. However one of these "grown-up shows" managed to capture my interest: The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.

I'm not sure why I was so captivated by this show. Could it have been Bob's soothing voice? His salt and pepper fro? That smooth jazz theme music? Maybe it was classic phrases like "happy little trees" that drew me in. My dad, however, sang a different tune. One day, he put his foot down and refused to watch one more second of "that poofy-haired fucker".

I had no idea that this show ran until 1995. I also didn't know that it started airing in 1983 (my birth year). Judging from Bob's fro, I always assumed that it was from the 70s. I guess I should have known better, his lapels were way too small.

The Joy of Painting's legacy lives on to this day. Reruns still air sporadically. There's even a proposed video game based on the show. No, really. I guess the Frugal Gourmet game was a no-go.

Ultimately, The Joy of Painting taught me a valuable life lesson that everyone should keep with them: "We don't make mistakes, we just make happy accidents."

Here's a sampling. Be warned, Bob tends to get a little crazy with the cadmium yellow!

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

BONUS! Even the writers of Doug recognized how ripe for parody this guy was.

Commercial: Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur

Ah, Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur. Yet another result of the late 80s dinosaur craze. I hounded and hounded my parents for that damn game. They eventually gave in and bought it for me. I don't exactly remember what made my parents crack. It wasn't my birthday or Christmas. I think I might have done something to earn it. Either that or my parents got sick of my whining.

I played that game a total of one time. I never really had anyone to play it with. My parents didn't have the patience to play for too long, Brother #1 was still too young to have enough of an attention span for board games, Brother #2 was taking up residence in my mother's womb, and needless to say, Brother #3 had yet to make his debut into the world. I ultimately discarded most of the game and played with the dinosaur by itself. I don't even remember the game's objective.

Here's the commercial in all of its glory. I first saw it circa 1989 and it continued to air until about '92. I remember that catchy jingle like it was yesterday. That's probably what drew me in to begin with. But DAMN, that kid's voice is grating.

Commercial: Fruit Wrinkles

What ever happened to Fruit Wrinkles? Those were the best fruit snacks ever. I definitely preferred them over Fruit Roll Ups. One day, they just up and disappeared, along with Jell-O Pudding Pops.

Here's a cute claymation ad that I vaguely remember. The quality is pretty good, especially for a commercial. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if it's from the 80s or 90s, so I guess I'll tag it as both.

Commercials: Showbiz Pizza

Before Chuck E. Cheese ditched his bow tie and went all EXTREME TO THE MAX in the mid 90s, his establishment was known as Showbiz Pizza. The restaurant's basic concept might not have changed much (except for the fact that Chuck is apparently the sole animatronic left. Boo!), but the quality of their commercials has spiraled downward. They just don't have the charm that they used to. Plus in my humble opinion, "Showbiz Pizza: where a kid can be a kid" has a MUCH better ring to it than "Chuck E. Cheese's: where a kid can be a kid".

In this first commercial, a kid laments the fact that his big brother and pals are better than him at basketball. However, upon arriving at Showbiz, he kicks Big Bro's ass at Hoop Shots™, Skee-Ball, and Whack a Mole. That's pretty unrealistic if you ask me. Sorry kids, but in real life the bigger kids most likely have the upper hand at these games too (the first two, anyway).



In the next one, a pseudo badass kid claims that HE calls the shots when it comes to his family's choice of pizza restaurants. I guess Mom and Dad wouldn't spring for a leather jacket, so kiddo had to look "rebellious" in a denim one.



On a final note, am I the only one who thought that the ball pits in those commercials were completely misleading? They were never that big or deep. I don't even think that the Showbiz Pizza I went to had a slide until I was too big for the ball pit.