Anybody who watched Sesame Street before it turned into The Elmo Show is familiar with these sketches. You know, Bob sings about random people that one might encounter in the neighborhood. Well, this 1988 version featured several... intersting celebrity cameos: Barbara Walters, Martina Navratilova, and Ralph Nader.
A few observations:
There certainly aren't any tennis pros, journalists, or consumer advocates/presidential candidates in MY neighborhood.
Martina was totally rocking a mullet.
Martina Navratilova should be banned from singing in public permanently.
When I was a kid, I absolutely hated baby dolls for some reason. I used to wonder if this had anything to do with the jealousy I experienced upon the arrival of my little brother when I was three and a half, but there's a picture of me on Christmas morning opening a baby doll with a horrified expression on my face, and I was still an only child at that point (my mom was actually about three months pregnant when that picture was taken, but my jealousy didn't surface until my brother arrived home from the hospital). I like real babies, so I guess my aversion to baby dolls will remain an enigma.
Needless to say, I absolutely despised the Baby Shivers commercial. Even at eight years old, the jingle made me want to puke. The doll also creeped me out, and it wasn't only because it looked like this:
The idea of a shivering doll was just unsettling to me back then. It actually still is, when I think about babies that shiver uncontrollably in real life. Baby Shivers? More like Baby Crack Withdrawal.
As if this doll wasn't creepy enough, you apparently had to remove its head in order to replace the batteries.
Here's the only Baby Shivers commercial I was able to find. It's part of a compilation of commercials the uploader posted, so to get straight to Baby Shivers, click here.
Surely I'm not the only woman in the world who realized just how hot Luis from Sesame Street was when I got older? If so, then A.) I have unique taste in men or B.) some people are lying.
The following video exhibits one of the finest examples of Luis' hotness, during his marriage to Maria. At 2:44, just pretend Luis is looking at you.
More commentary:
Sesame Street's skyline resembles that of Oil Ocean Zone's in Sonic 2. From the rooftops, that place looks like a real dystopia.
If it wasn't for her typical "mother of the bride" ensemble, Maria's mom could have easily passed for her sister.
I'm sure most people reading this rolled their eyes at Elmo's appearance (Lord knows I did). However, this was ten plus years before Elmo became "The Thing That Ate Sesame Street". Back then he was a bit player and not nearly as grating.
Poor lonely David, his woman got away and now he's sitting dateless at her wedding. Even OSCAR had Grungetta. Speaking of David, I was actually browsing a book about Sesame Street behind the scenes at Borders yesterday, and those "so-called" rumors that he died in a mental hospital weren't exactly "so called".
Luis's exterior + Bob's voice = MY DREAM MAN
Gina and Linda should have switched dresses. Gina's outfit screamed bridesmaid. Linda's? Not so much.
I actually laughed out loud at Big Bird towards the end.
If this took place nowadays, maybe Bert and Ernie would have had their own little internal monologue. Civil union? I refuse it! We should move to Massachusetts!
For my second cereal-related Christmas commercials post, here's an old standby that aired for several years. I'm pretty sure I was still seeing it on TV when I was well into my teens. Yes, I'm referring to the Fruity Pebbles holiday commercial.
Barney must be even more desperate for Fruity Pebbles than that rabbit is for Trix (I don't understand why. In my opinion, Cocoa Pebbles is the superior cereal of the Pebbles variety). The guy was willing to go out in the snow with no pants or shoes on, for God's sake.
This is probably one of the most insane Christmas specials ever made - not surprising, since it's Pee Wee's Playhouse. This was so campy that John Waters would be jealous. Just look at this list of guest stars:
Whoopi Goldberg
Magic Johnson
Grace Jones
Frankie and Annette
Cher
Joan Rivers
The Del Rubio Triplets
Little Richard
K.D. Lang
Zsa Zsa Freakin' Gabor
Oprah, before she became the self-serving, name-dropping bitch that she is today
Dinah Shore
Charo
I'm surprised they don't air this on the Logo network. It's rife with gay icons.
This special managed to reach out to most of the demographics: they covered both the secular and religious aspects of Christmas and Hanukkah. Nobody can possibly be offended except for any uptight parents watching this after 1991.
On to the commentary:
When the director told those guys in the choir to look as serious as possible, they took it to the extreme. Some of them look like they're singing at a funeral.
I wish those two drag queens back-up singers would have made more appearances on the show.
"What would you put on my Christmas list if you were me?" I don't know, maybe a huge supply of porn, so you can spank it in the comfort of the playhouse, instead of whipping it out in public and getting your show pulled (no pun intended)? Sorry, still bitter over here.
Florry totally wants to peek under Ms. Yvonne's dress.
"I hope it's not a fruitcake." Don't worry Pee Wee, Little Richard will be over later.
Grace Jones appears to be wearing the same prosthetic boobs that Marilyn Manson is wearing on the cover of Mechanical Animals.
Thank God Cher didn't sing.
I wonder how many kids actually heeded Pee Wee's advice and used coconut shavings to make snow angels. I'm sure at least one dumb kid tried to pull that crap.
I wonder how Little Richard felt about Morpheus Cowboy Curtis usurping his hair-do.
I'm not sure why 7UP dropped the Spot campaign. Then again, this is what they had to say in the FAQs section of their official website (by the way, 7UP is both Kosher and gluten-free, in case you were wondering):
Q: Are you targeting 7UP to adults or children?
A: 7UP is targeted to adults 25-49 who want a great tasting carbonated soft drink without artificial flavors are preservatives.
Hmm, does this mean that I've only been old enough to drink 7UP for less than 2 months?
Spot was featured in many commercials, but the Christmas-themed ones are the most memorable. This one from the late 80s is beyond cute. The music is pretty good too:
Here's one from the early 90s, featuring the now defunct slogan "The Uncola". Not as whimsical as the other one, but cute nonetheless:
Throughout the 80s and early 90s, McDonalds would always air this commercial around Christmas. It featured Ronald McDonald ice skating, while animated forest creatures looked on. He engages in a game of "Crack the Whip" with a bunch of kids - save for the smallest of them all who is left behind. Kid looks sad, Ronald notices, picks him up and spins him around, and the other kids finally acknowledge his existence. Hey, Ronald noticed him, so he must be worthy of their attention, right?
Here's the commercial. Animation and music-wise, this ad was pretty high-quality.
Later on, they replaced the audio track in the commercial. I think I might actually like this music better:
If you don't remember Lifecall (now called Life Alert), chances are you will after you read this next sentence:
"I've fallen and I can't get up!"
It's unfortunate that a commercial that addresses a serious problem among the elderly is so unintentionally hilarious. I'm sure Lifecall didn't intend for this ad to become one of the biggest punchlines of the 90s. Oh well, at least it put them on the map. Mrs. Fletcher will live on forever!
Here's a remarkably high-quality version of the commercial in all its glory:
In the 80s, Sesame Street had a segment called "Sesame Street Creature Feature", which focused on some exotic animal, along with an accompanying song. This didn't pique my interest as much as the Muppet or animated segments. However, I was always drawn to the marmoset one. It must be that chill music. It never left my head, even during my post-Sesame Street, pre-Youtube years.
That song affects me a lot differently than it did about 20 years ago. Now I'm in the mood to make love. Or smoke a bowl. Maybe both. This sounds like something that Bob Ross would get down to while painting his happy little trees.
Today marks my last entry as a 24-year old. Tomorrow's the big 2-5!
This is my second Happy Meal entry, with a Halloween theme in honor of the season. As in the last post, I'm writing about the toys I actually owned as a child.
This first commercial features the late, great McNuggets, all dressed up for Halloween and making horrible "mummy/mommy" puns. The toys featured in that year's (1989) Happy Meal were the McDonalds Zoo Face disguises. These "disguises" consisted of an animal snout and face paint. I had the toucan's beak. The elastic hurt my face, but I really liked how the inside of the beak smelled. Either my memory is fuzzy or I got gypped, because I certainly don't remember getting any face paint.
This next one features the Halloween Happy Meal Pails (and the now MIA Birdie, Grimace, and Hamburglar). I had the pumpkin, but I stuck to my pillowcase for trick or treating. Those buckets couldn't hold crap.
Insomnia sucks. I can't believe I'm blogging about Muppet Babies at six in the morning.
Muppet Babies kicked off the "babyification" craze of popular cartoon characters that was so prevalent in the 80s and early 90s. Just think, if this show never existed, we never would have seen such gems as A Pup Named Scooby Doo, The Flintstone Kids, Tom and Jerry Kids, and Yo Yogi! (I don't group Tiny Toon Adventures with these shows, because it featured a completely different group of characters instead of the originals as kids, plus, Tiny Toons was actually a good show, unlike the four mentioned above). While most of these "babyfied" shows are pretty forgettable, Muppet Babies obviously did something right, because it ran from 1984 to 1990 (plus, several characters made cameos in Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue).
From a grown-up point of view, Muppet Babies isn't half bad. It lacks the more adult humor of Animaniacs or Tiny Toons and doesn't deliver quite as many laughs (and the voices are MUCH more grating), but there are still a number of references and parodies that adults will find amusing.
There is one thing that bugs me about the show as an adult: the addition of Skeeter, Scooter's twin sister. Skeeter was never an original Muppet, but the writers obviously wanted another female character. I HATE it when shows add token female characters (I'm looking at you, Smurfette). It's not like Miss Piggy was the only original female Muppet. Couldn't they have just used Janice or Camilla (who actually appeared as Gonzo's stuffed toy)? And if they insisted on creating a token female, they could have at least made her less annoying. Skeeter sucked.
I was well aware that June Cleaver moonlighted as the Muppet Babies' nanny. However, I didn't know that Mr. Deal or No Deal himself provided a few voices (although now that I think about it, Skeeter sounded exactly like Bobby Generic).
Today's post features the very first episode, in which a member of the popo moves in next door to the Muppet Babies (I included an extra clip of the theme song, since it was cut out of the video I posted). If this particular one doesn't tickle your fancy, there are many more on Youtube.
Tonight's episode of Family Guy inspired this entry.
Kool-Aid has a looong history of advertising campaigns, some more memorable than others. As usual, I'll be focusing on the ads from the late 80s and early 90s. If you're looking for the more classic commercials, you're at the wrong place. I'm one month and three weeks shy of my 25th birthday, those were before my time.
One of the ad campaigns from my childhood was "Wild and Wacky". The following commercial is a trip. It looks like a film student's first project. It embodies the cheese of the late 80s and early 90s. Kool-Aid Man busts through the wall in a pair of pink leopard print pants and a blond wig that resembles fiberglass insulation.
Here's a low-quality commercial of my absolute favorite flavor ever: Sharkleberry Fin. Fintastic!
During my pre-school years, I stayed glued to PBS from the time I woke up in the morning until the 5:00 PM (CST) airing of Sesame Street ended and gave way to MacNeil/Lehrer. I did give the TV a rest between the 11:00 AM and 2:00PM airings of Sesame Street, because during those hours, PBS aired boring "grown-up shows", such as Sewing With Nancy. However one of these "grown-up shows" managed to capture my interest: The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.
I'm not sure why I was so captivated by this show. Could it have been Bob's soothing voice? His salt and pepper fro? That smooth jazz theme music? Maybe it was classic phrases like "happy little trees" that drew me in. My dad, however, sang a different tune. One day, he put his foot down and refused to watch one more second of "that poofy-haired fucker".
I had no idea that this show ran until 1995. I also didn't know that it started airing in 1983 (my birth year). Judging from Bob's fro, I always assumed that it was from the 70s. I guess I should have known better, his lapels were way too small.
The Joy of Painting's legacy lives on to this day. Reruns still air sporadically. There's even a proposed video game based on the show. No, really. I guess the Frugal Gourmet game was a no-go.
Ultimately, The Joy of Painting taught me a valuable life lesson that everyone should keep with them: "We don't make mistakes, we just make happy accidents."
Here's a sampling. Be warned, Bob tends to get a little crazy with the cadmium yellow!
Ah, Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur. Yet another result of the late 80s dinosaur craze. I hounded and hounded my parents for that damn game. They eventually gave in and bought it for me. I don't exactly remember what made my parents crack. It wasn't my birthday or Christmas. I think I might have done something to earn it. Either that or my parents got sick of my whining.
I played that game a total of one time. I never really had anyone to play it with. My parents didn't have the patience to play for too long, Brother #1 was still too young to have enough of an attention span for board games, Brother #2 was taking up residence in my mother's womb, and needless to say, Brother #3 had yet to make his debut into the world. I ultimately discarded most of the game and played with the dinosaur by itself. I don't even remember the game's objective.
Here's the commercial in all of its glory. I first saw it circa 1989 and it continued to air until about '92. I remember that catchy jingle like it was yesterday. That's probably what drew me in to begin with. But DAMN, that kid's voice is grating.
What ever happened to Fruit Wrinkles? Those were the best fruit snacks ever. I definitely preferred them over Fruit Roll Ups. One day, they just up and disappeared, along with Jell-O Pudding Pops.
Here's a cute claymation ad that I vaguely remember. The quality is pretty good, especially for a commercial. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if it's from the 80s or 90s, so I guess I'll tag it as both.
Before Chuck E. Cheese ditched his bow tie and went all EXTREME TO THE MAX in the mid 90s, his establishment was known as Showbiz Pizza. The restaurant's basic concept might not have changed much (except for the fact that Chuck is apparently the sole animatronic left. Boo!), but the quality of their commercials has spiraled downward. They just don't have the charm that they used to. Plus in my humble opinion, "Showbiz Pizza: where a kid can be a kid" has a MUCH better ring to it than "Chuck E. Cheese's: where a kid can be a kid".
In this first commercial, a kid laments the fact that his big brother and pals are better than him at basketball. However, upon arriving at Showbiz, he kicks Big Bro's ass at Hoop Shots™, Skee-Ball, and Whack a Mole. That's pretty unrealistic if you ask me. Sorry kids, but in real life the bigger kids most likely have the upper hand at these games too (the first two, anyway).
In the next one, a pseudo badass kid claims that HE calls the shots when it comes to his family's choice of pizza restaurants. I guess Mom and Dad wouldn't spring for a leather jacket, so kiddo had to look "rebellious" in a denim one.
On a final note, am I the only one who thought that the ball pits in those commercials were completely misleading? They were never that big or deep. I don't even think that the Showbiz Pizza I went to had a slide until I was too big for the ball pit.
During the short period that my parents actually paid to get HBO, I didn't really watch anything on the network, except for an occasional episode of Fraggle Rock. However, the awesome bumpers they used before the movies definitely piqued my interest, possibly even more than Fraggle Rock did.
This one from the 80s is probably among the most memorable. Yes, I'm talking about that awesome outer space one. They used this well into the 90s. To this day, I think that's the coolest thing ever. Plus, it's neat that HBO has kept the same logo after all these years. Most of the other cable networks have changed theirs at least once.
In the 1980s, the legendary Celia Cruz was among the many guest stars on Sesame Street. Her songs always rocked. I only appreciate their awesomeness even more as an adult.
"Uno, dos, tres. CUATRO."
"Numero Comparsa" is definitely one of THE best Sesame Street songs ever. I listened to it four times before even typing this entry. I so want to add it to my playlist.
In this next video, Ms. Cruz sings "Sun Sun Babae" with a little help from Big Bird. I used to try my damndest to sing along, but at four years old I wasn't exactly proficient in Spanish.
Before the TV Guide network exploded into the flashy superficial mess that it is today, it was known as Prevue Guide. Back then, you could view TV listings without having to listen to Joan Rivers or some flaming queen screech about what Sarah Jessica Parker wore to the Oscars.
When I was a kid and there was nothing on, I used to sit and watch Prevue Guide just to hear that catchy music. Sad, huh?
Here's a clip of Preview Guide from 1991. Man, that music takes me back. It's cool to see all of the old TV lineups and defunct channels. A couple of notable shows I noticed on the guide in this video were David the Gnome and Zoobilee Zoo.
In the late 80s, NBC aired DTV, a series of specials featuring "music videos" of Disney cartoons set to popular music. It was also used as filler material on the Disney Channel, back when there were no commercials or music videos by talentless pre-pubescent brats. Man, times have changed. It's truly disheartening that kids today would rather see Billy Ray's meal ticket Hannah Montana's horse face, instead of Mickey and Goofy.
Just think, if DTV never existed, Youtube would save TONS of bandwidth on those annoying AMVs that plague the site.
The clips I'm posting are from "DTV Doggone Valentine". My dad actually taped this episode for me when it first aired (in 1987!) and I continued to watch it for years. I never did find out what happened to that tape.
This first video features "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham!, "You're the One That I Want" from Grease, and "I Only Have Eyes for You" by The Flamingos.
Since I don't want to post all six parts in one entry, I'm jumping to the end. This one features "Lets Hear it for the Boy" by Denice Williams and "Stay" by Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs.
