Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

Throughout my childhood, PBS ran 1978's Christmas Eve on Sesame Street ad nauseam throughout the month of December - and I was determined to catch every single airing. Alas, PBS has retired this special, in favor of some crappy one featuring The Monster That Ruined Sesame Street Elmo. I've been holding out hope for several years that they'll pull this out of the vault, but no such luck. Thank God for Youtube.

And now for some commentary:

• I will always and forever associate Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" with this special.

• Damn, it couldn't have been easy to skate around in that Big Bird costume. Big Bird (and his costume) is 8'2"!

• Oscar would NEVER say that Santa is "built like a dump truck" in the overly PC Sesame Street of today. Obesity is a growing epidemic, ya know.

• Olivia! Why did you have to leave? Sorry, but Big Bird > Jackee any day.

• Ah, Bob. Your singing voice makes me melt (shut up, you know it makes you melt too).

• Luis who? Back in those days, Maria and David were an item.

• Hee! I love how the subway drowned out Oscar's scathing remarks to Big Bird. It totally gave the illusion of profanity.

• Bert and Ernie sure are crappy gifters. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.

• I would love to know where the kids Grover and Kermit interviewed are now.

• This special was one of the only times I was exposed to Mr. Hooper. The actor who portrayed him died in 1982 (and the episode that addressed his death aired when I was approximately 27 days old)

• Ah what Christmas special would be complete without a Gift of the Magi (or A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life) parody?

• Prune cookies? Jeez Cookie Monster, you're already bulimic. Are you looking for a new way to purge?

• Why are you bitching, Big Bird? You don't HAVE a chimney. You'll get your damn presents.

• Heh, I almost forgot that Cookie Monster was saying "Cowabunga!" long before Michelangelo.

• "I'll tell him where to put his toys." Pretty raunchy line for Sesame Street.

• "Oh Ernie, what a great, superb packing job." I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE!

• Out of all the Christmas songs for Bert and Ernie to sing, they WOULD pick the one that includes the line "make the Yuletide gay" (sorry, couldn't resist).

• Don't you have parents or some kind of guardian, Patty?

• A half-frozen Big Bird, coupled with that SNORING was one of the most frightening images ever to three-year old me.

• "I think my giblets are frozen." Holy innuendo, Batman! At least to my one-track mind.

• So Patty DOES have a mom! Maybe she had a little too much eggnog that night?

• Oscar's last line, followed by Big Bird's silent sputtering = best ending ever.

Here's part 1. I'm not about to embed all seven parts, so for the rest, just click the uploader's name.

The Letter People

Here's an obscure one for you.

The Letter People was a staple in my weekday morning PBS lineup. Although it first aired in the early 70s, the network (at least my local affiliate, which actually produced the show) showed sporadic reruns until right around the time I hit puberty.

Upon surfing the web for this entry, I discovered that sometime in the 90s there was a revival. And let me tell you, it is a politically correct ABOMINATION!

In the original version, there were only five female characters, each of whom represented the vowels. In the new version, F, J, K, L, P, S, T, V, W, and Y are now also female, although I and O have been turned male. Personally, I think that the old series had a better feminist message. After all, to make a word, one of the "female" letters is always needed (I know there are a few exceptions, but I'm not getting into that now). Hell, if they really wanted to be PC, they could have made Y into a hermaphrodite or a tranny. Y is sometimes a vowel, after all.

It gets worse. Many of the beloved characters received name changes. All references to junk food and "negative" images are the most notable. Here are just a few examples:

Mister C, Cotton Candy ---> Mr. C, Colossal Cap

Mister D, Delicious Donuts ---> Mr. D, Dazzling Dance

Mister H, Horrible Hair ---> Mr. H, Happy Hair

Miss I, Itchy Itch ---> Mr. I, Impossible Inches (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, one-track mind over here. Seriously, couldn't they give the character a name that doesn't sound like a bad porn?)

Mister J, Jumbled Junk ---> Ms. J, Jingle Jangle Jacket

Mister L, Lemon Lollipops ---> Ms. L, Longest Laugh

Miss O, Obstinate ---> Mr. O, Opposite

Mister X, Mixed Up ---> Mr. X, Different (what the hell? At least "mixed up" has an X in it)

As a final slap in the face, check out just how fugly the new puppets are (not that the old ones weren't fugly in their own right).

The "Lucky Star" song was always my favorite. Click here for the video. The uploader has TONS of Letter People episodes, so if you want more, just click on their name.

Sesame Street: Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco

I'm not in the mood for a long-winded entry today, so here's yet another Sesame Street clip from before I was born. This still aired regularly when I watched the show. My Sesame Street viewing years were during most of the 80s, when disco wasn't just passe, it was reviled. Due to this, I don't think I even knew what disco was until I watched this. I guess Sesame Street really does teach you more than just letters and numbers.

Hmm, I wonder if "cookie" is a codeword for something else. Cookie Monster sure was jonesin'.

Sesame Street: Plants Need Water

When I watched Sesame Street, I'm willing to bet that at least half of the segments they showed were made before I was born (it sucks that they seem to have abandoned that trend, huh?). Case in point: this little animation from the 70s. Possibly the most unintentionally (or maybe it was intentional) funny clip ever. I'm sure that wasn't the only plant those kids were growing.