Sesame Street: People in Your Neighborhood

Anybody who watched Sesame Street before it turned into The Elmo Show is familiar with these sketches. You know, Bob sings about random people that one might encounter in the neighborhood. Well, this 1988 version featured several... intersting celebrity cameos: Barbara Walters, Martina Navratilova, and Ralph Nader.

A few observations:

• There certainly aren't any tennis pros, journalists, or consumer advocates/presidential candidates in MY neighborhood.

• Martina was totally rocking a mullet.

• Martina Navratilova should be banned from singing in public permanently.

• Luis can join me in a game of "checkers" anytime!

• Barbara Walters is no Maria Callas, but at least she can carry a tune, unlike Ms. Navratilova.

• Hee! Ralph Nader's the best singer of the three.

• Bwahaha, even OSCAR ragged on their singing.

Sesame Street: Luis and Maria's Wedding or Luis is Hot

Surely I'm not the only woman in the world who realized just how hot Luis from Sesame Street was when I got older? If so, then A.) I have unique taste in men or B.) some people are lying.

The following video exhibits one of the finest examples of Luis' hotness, during his marriage to Maria. At 2:44, just pretend Luis is looking at you.

More commentary:

• Sesame Street's skyline resembles that of Oil Ocean Zone's in Sonic 2. From the rooftops, that place looks like a real dystopia.

• If it wasn't for her typical "mother of the bride" ensemble, Maria's mom could have easily passed for her sister.

• I'm sure most people reading this rolled their eyes at Elmo's appearance (Lord knows I did). However, this was ten plus years before Elmo became "The Thing That Ate Sesame Street". Back then he was a bit player and not nearly as grating.

• Poor lonely David, his woman got away and now he's sitting dateless at her wedding. Even OSCAR had Grungetta. Speaking of David, I was actually browsing a book about Sesame Street behind the scenes at Borders yesterday, and those "so-called" rumors that he died in a mental hospital weren't exactly "so called".

• Luis's exterior + Bob's voice = MY DREAM MAN

• Gina and Linda should have switched dresses. Gina's outfit screamed bridesmaid. Linda's? Not so much.

• I actually laughed out loud at Big Bird towards the end.

• If this took place nowadays, maybe Bert and Ernie would have had their own little internal monologue. Civil union? I refuse it! We should move to Massachusetts!

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

Throughout my childhood, PBS ran 1978's Christmas Eve on Sesame Street ad nauseam throughout the month of December - and I was determined to catch every single airing. Alas, PBS has retired this special, in favor of some crappy one featuring The Monster That Ruined Sesame Street Elmo. I've been holding out hope for several years that they'll pull this out of the vault, but no such luck. Thank God for Youtube.

And now for some commentary:

• I will always and forever associate Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" with this special.

• Damn, it couldn't have been easy to skate around in that Big Bird costume. Big Bird (and his costume) is 8'2"!

• Oscar would NEVER say that Santa is "built like a dump truck" in the overly PC Sesame Street of today. Obesity is a growing epidemic, ya know.

• Olivia! Why did you have to leave? Sorry, but Big Bird > Jackee any day.

• Ah, Bob. Your singing voice makes me melt (shut up, you know it makes you melt too).

• Luis who? Back in those days, Maria and David were an item.

• Hee! I love how the subway drowned out Oscar's scathing remarks to Big Bird. It totally gave the illusion of profanity.

• Bert and Ernie sure are crappy gifters. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.

• I would love to know where the kids Grover and Kermit interviewed are now.

• This special was one of the only times I was exposed to Mr. Hooper. The actor who portrayed him died in 1982 (and the episode that addressed his death aired when I was approximately 27 days old)

• Ah what Christmas special would be complete without a Gift of the Magi (or A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life) parody?

• Prune cookies? Jeez Cookie Monster, you're already bulimic. Are you looking for a new way to purge?

• Why are you bitching, Big Bird? You don't HAVE a chimney. You'll get your damn presents.

• Heh, I almost forgot that Cookie Monster was saying "Cowabunga!" long before Michelangelo.

• "I'll tell him where to put his toys." Pretty raunchy line for Sesame Street.

• "Oh Ernie, what a great, superb packing job." I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE!

• Out of all the Christmas songs for Bert and Ernie to sing, they WOULD pick the one that includes the line "make the Yuletide gay" (sorry, couldn't resist).

• Don't you have parents or some kind of guardian, Patty?

• A half-frozen Big Bird, coupled with that SNORING was one of the most frightening images ever to three-year old me.

• "I think my giblets are frozen." Holy innuendo, Batman! At least to my one-track mind.

• So Patty DOES have a mom! Maybe she had a little too much eggnog that night?

• Oscar's last line, followed by Big Bird's silent sputtering = best ending ever.

Here's part 1. I'm not about to embed all seven parts, so for the rest, just click the uploader's name.

Sesame Street Creature Feature: Marmoset

In the 80s, Sesame Street had a segment called "Sesame Street Creature Feature", which focused on some exotic animal, along with an accompanying song. This didn't pique my interest as much as the Muppet or animated segments. However, I was always drawn to the marmoset one. It must be that chill music. It never left my head, even during my post-Sesame Street, pre-Youtube years.

That song affects me a lot differently than it did about 20 years ago. Now I'm in the mood to make love. Or smoke a bowl. Maybe both. This sounds like something that Bob Ross would get down to while painting his happy little trees.

The Joy of Painting

During my pre-school years, I stayed glued to PBS from the time I woke up in the morning until the 5:00 PM (CST) airing of Sesame Street ended and gave way to MacNeil/Lehrer. I did give the TV a rest between the 11:00 AM and 2:00PM airings of Sesame Street, because during those hours, PBS aired boring "grown-up shows", such as Sewing With Nancy. However one of these "grown-up shows" managed to capture my interest: The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.

I'm not sure why I was so captivated by this show. Could it have been Bob's soothing voice? His salt and pepper fro? That smooth jazz theme music? Maybe it was classic phrases like "happy little trees" that drew me in. My dad, however, sang a different tune. One day, he put his foot down and refused to watch one more second of "that poofy-haired fucker".

I had no idea that this show ran until 1995. I also didn't know that it started airing in 1983 (my birth year). Judging from Bob's fro, I always assumed that it was from the 70s. I guess I should have known better, his lapels were way too small.

The Joy of Painting's legacy lives on to this day. Reruns still air sporadically. There's even a proposed video game based on the show. No, really. I guess the Frugal Gourmet game was a no-go.

Ultimately, The Joy of Painting taught me a valuable life lesson that everyone should keep with them: "We don't make mistakes, we just make happy accidents."

Here's a sampling. Be warned, Bob tends to get a little crazy with the cadmium yellow!

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

BONUS! Even the writers of Doug recognized how ripe for parody this guy was.

Big Bird's Scary Snoring

OK, am I the only person who was absolutely terrified of that noise Big Bird made whenever he snored? I actually had to run out of the room and cover my ears every time I heard it. It sounded like somebody was wringing a duck's neck. To my three year-old self, that was the most horrifying sound in the world.

...Or was I just a weird kid?

You'll see what I'm talking about about 40 seconds into the following video. While I no longer have to cover my ears, that sound still sets my teeth on edge.

Sesame Street: Numero Comparsa and Sun Sun Babae

In the 1980s, the legendary Celia Cruz was among the many guest stars on Sesame Street. Her songs always rocked. I only appreciate their awesomeness even more as an adult.

"Uno, dos, tres. CUATRO."

"Numero Comparsa" is definitely one of THE best Sesame Street songs ever. I listened to it four times before even typing this entry. I so want to add it to my playlist.



In this next video, Ms. Cruz sings "Sun Sun Babae" with a little help from Big Bird. I used to try my damndest to sing along, but at four years old I wasn't exactly proficient in Spanish.

The Letter People

Here's an obscure one for you.

The Letter People was a staple in my weekday morning PBS lineup. Although it first aired in the early 70s, the network (at least my local affiliate, which actually produced the show) showed sporadic reruns until right around the time I hit puberty.

Upon surfing the web for this entry, I discovered that sometime in the 90s there was a revival. And let me tell you, it is a politically correct ABOMINATION!

In the original version, there were only five female characters, each of whom represented the vowels. In the new version, F, J, K, L, P, S, T, V, W, and Y are now also female, although I and O have been turned male. Personally, I think that the old series had a better feminist message. After all, to make a word, one of the "female" letters is always needed (I know there are a few exceptions, but I'm not getting into that now). Hell, if they really wanted to be PC, they could have made Y into a hermaphrodite or a tranny. Y is sometimes a vowel, after all.

It gets worse. Many of the beloved characters received name changes. All references to junk food and "negative" images are the most notable. Here are just a few examples:

Mister C, Cotton Candy ---> Mr. C, Colossal Cap

Mister D, Delicious Donuts ---> Mr. D, Dazzling Dance

Mister H, Horrible Hair ---> Mr. H, Happy Hair

Miss I, Itchy Itch ---> Mr. I, Impossible Inches (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, one-track mind over here. Seriously, couldn't they give the character a name that doesn't sound like a bad porn?)

Mister J, Jumbled Junk ---> Ms. J, Jingle Jangle Jacket

Mister L, Lemon Lollipops ---> Ms. L, Longest Laugh

Miss O, Obstinate ---> Mr. O, Opposite

Mister X, Mixed Up ---> Mr. X, Different (what the hell? At least "mixed up" has an X in it)

As a final slap in the face, check out just how fugly the new puppets are (not that the old ones weren't fugly in their own right).

The "Lucky Star" song was always my favorite. Click here for the video. The uploader has TONS of Letter People episodes, so if you want more, just click on their name.

Sesame Street: Forgetful Jones Does Oklahoma

Forgetful Jones was one of my favorite Sesame Street characters. I'm not sure why exactly, but there's just something about him. He certainly was unique.

Hehe, my immature self laughed at this excerpt from his Wikipedia profile for about five minutes: "He 'rode in the saddle' with his girlfriend, Clementine."

Sadly, the character was retired in 1992 after his voice actor died. Godspeed, Forgetful Jones. Sesame Street just isn't the same without you.

The video below features undoubtedly the best Forgetful Jones moment ever. That's right I'm talking about the infamous Oklahoma parody. Classic. And how adorable is Kermit in his little director's outfit?

Sesame Street: Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco

I'm not in the mood for a long-winded entry today, so here's yet another Sesame Street clip from before I was born. This still aired regularly when I watched the show. My Sesame Street viewing years were during most of the 80s, when disco wasn't just passe, it was reviled. Due to this, I don't think I even knew what disco was until I watched this. I guess Sesame Street really does teach you more than just letters and numbers.

Hmm, I wonder if "cookie" is a codeword for something else. Cookie Monster sure was jonesin'.

Sesame Street: Plants Need Water

When I watched Sesame Street, I'm willing to bet that at least half of the segments they showed were made before I was born (it sucks that they seem to have abandoned that trend, huh?). Case in point: this little animation from the 70s. Possibly the most unintentionally (or maybe it was intentional) funny clip ever. I'm sure that wasn't the only plant those kids were growing.

Sesame Street: Teeny Little Super Guy

Without a doubt, "Teeny Little Super Guy" was my favorite Sesame Street skit. I think I identified with it a lot, because I used to play random little pretend games with various household objects. Yeah, I was a weird kid.

Aside from that, it had the coolest theme song ever. I never did forget it, even during my post-Sesame Street, pre-Youtube years.

In the following clip, Teeny Little Super Guy learns about Danger. Enjoy!

Today's Special

Until it went off the air, Today's Special was a regular part of my weekday TV viewing schedule. For the first five years of my life, I couldn't enter a Sears, Dillards, Famous Barr (which became Macy's here in the midwest a couple of years ago), or J.C. Penney's without wanting to frolic with the damn mannequins. However, doing so got me chewed out by my mom and pissed off the stores' clerks, so I quickly abandoned that behavior. I think this show also contributed to my brother's crippling fear of mannequins when he was two.

Here's a summary, yanked from imdb: "Each night in a major city, Sam the Security Guard locks the closed department store and joins Jodie in the Children's department as she brings a special mannequin with her even as she prepares to work on a display for the next day. With some magic words, the magic hat it wears brings it to life and becomes Jeff. Together with Muffy the Mouse, this gang learn about various things to teach younger viewer, both by the themselves and with visitors to the store."

Today's Special is yet another Canadian import that aired on Nickelodeon. However, I used to watch it on PBS, between Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and Sesame Street (they reran the show into the early 90s, which is why it was able to traumatize my aforementioned brother, who was born in 1987).

Upon watching the various video clips, I have come to a few conclusions:

• The puppets on this show are FUGLY, especially Sam.
• Muffy is fecking annoying.
• I can't believe that this show didn't scare the crap out of me as a kid, because it sure does now!

And now for just a few of the videos I found:

The theme song:

Jeff comes to life for the first time:



Sam, Muffy, and the computer:



Nifty little HMS Pinafore parody: