Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Letter People

Here's an obscure one for you.

The Letter People was a staple in my weekday morning PBS lineup. Although it first aired in the early 70s, the network (at least my local affiliate, which actually produced the show) showed sporadic reruns until right around the time I hit puberty.

Upon surfing the web for this entry, I discovered that sometime in the 90s there was a revival. And let me tell you, it is a politically correct ABOMINATION!

In the original version, there were only five female characters, each of whom represented the vowels. In the new version, F, J, K, L, P, S, T, V, W, and Y are now also female, although I and O have been turned male. Personally, I think that the old series had a better feminist message. After all, to make a word, one of the "female" letters is always needed (I know there are a few exceptions, but I'm not getting into that now). Hell, if they really wanted to be PC, they could have made Y into a hermaphrodite or a tranny. Y is sometimes a vowel, after all.

It gets worse. Many of the beloved characters received name changes. All references to junk food and "negative" images are the most notable. Here are just a few examples:

Mister C, Cotton Candy ---> Mr. C, Colossal Cap

Mister D, Delicious Donuts ---> Mr. D, Dazzling Dance

Mister H, Horrible Hair ---> Mr. H, Happy Hair

Miss I, Itchy Itch ---> Mr. I, Impossible Inches (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, one-track mind over here. Seriously, couldn't they give the character a name that doesn't sound like a bad porn?)

Mister J, Jumbled Junk ---> Ms. J, Jingle Jangle Jacket

Mister L, Lemon Lollipops ---> Ms. L, Longest Laugh

Miss O, Obstinate ---> Mr. O, Opposite

Mister X, Mixed Up ---> Mr. X, Different (what the hell? At least "mixed up" has an X in it)

As a final slap in the face, check out just how fugly the new puppets are (not that the old ones weren't fugly in their own right).

The "Lucky Star" song was always my favorite. Click here for the video. The uploader has TONS of Letter People episodes, so if you want more, just click on their name.

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