I'm Not Dead!

I've been neglecting this blog for awhile, due to real life obligations. I hope to get back to it soon. In the meantime, I'll be going through the older entries and replacing some of the videos that were yanked by Youtube.

Sesame Street: People in Your Neighborhood

Anybody who watched Sesame Street before it turned into The Elmo Show is familiar with these sketches. You know, Bob sings about random people that one might encounter in the neighborhood. Well, this 1988 version featured several... intersting celebrity cameos: Barbara Walters, Martina Navratilova, and Ralph Nader.

A few observations:

• There certainly aren't any tennis pros, journalists, or consumer advocates/presidential candidates in MY neighborhood.

• Martina was totally rocking a mullet.

• Martina Navratilova should be banned from singing in public permanently.

• Luis can join me in a game of "checkers" anytime!

• Barbara Walters is no Maria Callas, but at least she can carry a tune, unlike Ms. Navratilova.

• Hee! Ralph Nader's the best singer of the three.

• Bwahaha, even OSCAR ragged on their singing.

Bumpers: Disney Afternoon

I guess I'll file this as a bumper...

Back before Disney became the evil conglomerate that it is today, they provided kids with quality shows that didn't involve the caterwauling of nasal-voiced teenagers. The Disney Afternoon was a staple in the TV viewing habits of kids born in the 80s.

My Disney Afternoon programs of choice included The Gummi Bears, Duck Tales, Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers, Tale Spin, Goof Troop, and once in awhile, Darkwing Duck. I tried to give Bonkers a chance, but that show was absolutely abysmal. The made more than one dig at it on Animaniacs for a good reason. Plus, unlike its predecessors, it didn't have an awesome theme song. Soon after, I abandoned The Disney Afternoon, due to the line-up changes and my impending puberty.

Here's the first intro, featuring characters from the original four (The Gummi Bears, Duck Tales, Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers and Tale Spin), plus Darkwing Duck, whose show was in the works at the time:



Here's another version, with the addition of characters from Darkwing Duck, Goofy, Max, and (ugh) Bonkers:



There was apparently a soundtrack that was sold in stores (I'm going to have to scavenge the local used record stores now). Here's the full version of the Disney Afternoon theme. You gotta love the jazzy flute solo:

Commercial: Baby Shivers

When I was a kid, I absolutely hated baby dolls for some reason. I used to wonder if this had anything to do with the jealousy I experienced upon the arrival of my little brother when I was three and a half, but there's a picture of me on Christmas morning opening a baby doll with a horrified expression on my face, and I was still an only child at that point (my mom was actually about three months pregnant when that picture was taken, but my jealousy didn't surface until my brother arrived home from the hospital). I like real babies, so I guess my aversion to baby dolls will remain an enigma.

Needless to say, I absolutely despised the Baby Shivers commercial. Even at eight years old, the jingle made me want to puke. The doll also creeped me out, and it wasn't only because it looked like this:



The idea of a shivering doll was just unsettling to me back then. It actually still is, when I think about babies that shiver uncontrollably in real life. Baby Shivers? More like Baby Crack Withdrawal.

As if this doll wasn't creepy enough, you apparently had to remove its head in order to replace the batteries.

Hee! There's an indie band named Baby Shivers Boutique. Awesome.

Here's the only Baby Shivers commercial I was able to find. It's part of a compilation of commercials the uploader posted, so to get straight to Baby Shivers, click here.

Saved by the Bell: Jessie's So Excited

Everybody who watched Saved by the Bell lists this among their highlight reel:

"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so... scared!"

If Jessie gets like this after a few over-the-counter caffeine pills, I'd hate to see what cocaine or meth would do to her.

Jessie's freak out is just as hilarious now as it was circa 1991. Somebody else obviously thought so too, hence this awesome video:

Sesame Street: Luis and Maria's Wedding or Luis is Hot

Surely I'm not the only woman in the world who realized just how hot Luis from Sesame Street was when I got older? If so, then A.) I have unique taste in men or B.) some people are lying.

The following video exhibits one of the finest examples of Luis' hotness, during his marriage to Maria. At 2:44, just pretend Luis is looking at you.

More commentary:

• Sesame Street's skyline resembles that of Oil Ocean Zone's in Sonic 2. From the rooftops, that place looks like a real dystopia.

• If it wasn't for her typical "mother of the bride" ensemble, Maria's mom could have easily passed for her sister.

• I'm sure most people reading this rolled their eyes at Elmo's appearance (Lord knows I did). However, this was ten plus years before Elmo became "The Thing That Ate Sesame Street". Back then he was a bit player and not nearly as grating.

• Poor lonely David, his woman got away and now he's sitting dateless at her wedding. Even OSCAR had Grungetta. Speaking of David, I was actually browsing a book about Sesame Street behind the scenes at Borders yesterday, and those "so-called" rumors that he died in a mental hospital weren't exactly "so called".

• Luis's exterior + Bob's voice = MY DREAM MAN

• Gina and Linda should have switched dresses. Gina's outfit screamed bridesmaid. Linda's? Not so much.

• I actually laughed out loud at Big Bird towards the end.

• If this took place nowadays, maybe Bert and Ernie would have had their own little internal monologue. Civil union? I refuse it! We should move to Massachusetts!

Commercials: Circuit City

In honor of the demise of Circuit City, here are a couple of their commercials from the early 90s, featuring that catchy jingle.

There are two commercials in this video. The first one is probably the most famous one (and up until now I had completely forgotten about it). It features a kid getting the difference back from the hideous yellow Walkman he bought after seeing an ad in the paper that advertised it for less than what he paid for. Nice effort Circuit City, but this ploy must not have provided enough sustenance to help you survive a recession.

The second commercial is simply an extended version of the jingle.

Tiny Toons Meets Ninja Turtles

Don't let this post's title mislead you. This isn't some obscure cartoon crossover special. This is a hilarious and accurate parody of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as seen on Tiny Toon Adventures. Don't you just love it when early 90s phenomena collide?

The whole segment isn't available on Youtube, but here's the theme song, which is definitely the funniest part of the episode. Sit back, relax, and enjoy "Immature Radioactive Samurai Slugs".